I heard we made out
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize