Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.

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(310): View more from California

You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.

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(647): View more from Ontario

the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.

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(315): View more from New York

I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??

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