After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
