sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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