I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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