Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
