Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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