New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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