We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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