my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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