Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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