Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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