We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize