they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
