If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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