Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
