i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
