the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
