Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
