They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
