We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Randomize
