this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
