If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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