Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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