just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
