We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
