I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
