But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
