For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just want to make out with him forever
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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