No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
