After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish my penis had an off switch
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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