I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
