haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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