So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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