3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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