11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
