its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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