Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
