It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
