I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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