You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
