It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
