Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
