Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I currently don't understand fingers.
God, I missed his penis.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
