Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
