It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
