hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
