I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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