It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
