you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize