they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There r osticjed everywhere
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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