Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
