3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
