my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize