you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
