Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
