No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
These tits shall not be calmed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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