saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
