it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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