I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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