Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
