i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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