dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just googled if crying burns calories
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize