Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
